Dogs are good-natured humanists with healthy egos 
Cats are unbalanced Buddhists who dissolved their egos into emptiness 
Dogs are warm-hearted hippies offering a wholesome meal 
Cats are Berlin nihilists on ketamine
Dogs are solar, springtime 
Cats are lunar, winter
Dogs are a green park
Cats are a postmodern sprawl 
Dogs are honest, redneck farmers in the heartland of America 
Cats are the metropolitan urban elite, bisexual metaphysical queers 
Dogs go hiking in the Lake District 
Cats journey to the Himalayas 
Dogs are Bodhisatvas 
Cats are Arahants 
Dogs are organic, acoustic and embodied 
Cats are cerebral, shimmering shadows
Dogs have sincere sympathy 
Cats have ruthless compassion 
Dogs are Seth Faergolzia 
Cats are Josh Gura
Dogs are worldly 
Cats are ethereal 
Cats are poetry 
Dogs are prose 
Cats are tragedy 
Dogs are comedy 
Cats are soulless 
Dogs have souls 
Cats are Platonic
Dogs are Aristotelian
If you’re suffering and you want nirvana, go for a cat
If you’re suffering and you want comforting communion wafers, go for a dog 
Cats are techno 
Dogs are Bob Dylan
Cats are elves 
Dogs are dwarves 
Cats are aliens
Dogs are terrestrial 
Cats are gay 
Dogs are straight 
Cats are free of suffering
Dogs are wounded 
Cats are calculated 
Dogs are naive 
Lesley is a cat 
Chris is a dog