Listening to “Home” by Maribou State
the subject of “home” is on my mind

“Varkala” by Maribou State played at Frances’ funeral

Re. “Home” by Maribou State,
what does it mean to build a home in these times?

Heidegger’s concept of “dwelling” –
 a mode of being that involves a harmonious relationship with the cosmos

Is “home” the source? The mother?
My whole life I have been seeking the feminine, a return to the mother,
as if I was cut off, homeless, alone in the universe,
told to forge ahead as an isolated phallus!

Alan Watts anecdote:
an astronaut returns from space and is then asked about God –
the astronaut replies, “she is black”

Morton is skeptical of the notion of “home”
because it entails sealing oneself off,
embedding oneself in a specific place,
sealing “human” realm off from the “nonhuman” realm –
denying interconnected, entangled reality

Does any of this relate to climate change and the ecological crisis?

Morton and Zizek say that it’s a false narrative that we are cut off from Mother Nature
they call deep ecology proto-fascist
there is no Big Other, according to Zizek
so why then, in myself, am I continually seeking out the lost mother figure?

I have a hard time embracing negativity,
as Zizek and Paul Celan do
(by negativity I mean thelack or gap that is inherent to human subjectivity) 
I never recovered from the mirror stage of human development.
Am I indulging in naive sentimentalism? Delusion?

Everything I do:
music, yoga, mushrooms, romantic relationships, wild swimming, writing poetry,
is an attempt to reconnect to… what?

A “lost intimacy”, Morton would call it – not lost wholeness or lost mother or lost nature

Lesley, like Rose, is keen to connect to a (pristine?) nature
which is prior to/beyond human construction

I am more sympathetic to this view these days –
especially if nature refers to
the free, creative spirit, within and without
 “ocean of pure, vibrant consciousness”

Lesley sensibly avoids processed food;
seeks out raw food (keto diet)
and avoids additives/preservatives,
“extractive” tendencies